Why the Blog?

Well, first, I love to write. When I was a kid, I thought I'd grow up to be an author. (And an astronaut, a teacher, an Egyptologist, an actress, a counselor, and an Impressionist, until I found out one of the job qualifications was painting in the late 1800s.)

Previously, I've blogged sporadically at staffmusings.blogspot.com, but I fell off writing in 2014.

I've felt a pull back to writing recently, and thought I should start over with a more versatile domain name that could shift with what I want to write about. Sometimes my musings might not be about staff work with InterVarsity. But I'm always going to be CBoats.

The current title, Into Deeper Waters, has been floating around my head for a while.

In February 2014, God answered a promise he made when I first came on staff: "He brought me out into a wide, open place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me (Psalm 18:19)." I felt a release from the struggle to succeed and perform. I've been learning to live into that, to nourish that, to come back again and again to that sense for the last 10 months. Go figure, walking with God is still a learning process.

In May 2014, at our end-of-year chapter camp, I think God gave me a new call. I was finishing up 2 weeks of coordinating a Small Group Leader training track for 100 students. I was stepping into some temporary Area Director responsibilities for the summer and part of the fall semester as my Area Director took a well-deserved Sabbatical. I was wanting more for the students and staff I work with, and for myself. And we kept singing "Oceans" during worship.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand 

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I think God was calling me to a place of greater trust in him, where I couldn't rely on myself. It was scary. And ironic, since Psalm 18:16 says, "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters." Hadn't I been hoping to be rescued out of deeper waters just months before?

I know these deeper waters are actually very safe, not the kind I need to be rescued from. I know I may fail, but that's where grace is most keenly experienced. I want stronger faith and a rested soul. So, in Jesus, I'm going to keep plunging into deeper waters.